Moto Mom Life

Well,

I am doing more and more soul searching and I think that I am still suffering from Postpartum depression. I am doing all I can to fight this on my own. I am not sure what to do about it all. I think if I just fight my way through it all I will be fine. Some days are better then others and the last two days I think have been some of the worst I have had since giving birth.
I am having, as crazy as this sounds, panic attacks about death and dying??? HELLO where the Hell is this coming from??? It’s so crazy?? I had a small bit with Nik but with little girl I really feel this sense of doom hanging over my head. Like, O.K I have had the kids and now my life is flying before my eyes and there is nothing I can do to stop it.  It's almost like I am having so much fun and now I don’t want it to end but am afraid that before I know it it will. Seeing Nik turn 2 made me realize how fast it's all happening.

I know in my heart of hearts that how I am feeling is wrong and I am trying to “Snap out of it” But it’s not easy. I have convinced myself that if I loose the weight I will be happy again and make this all go away. I am losing it at a pretty quick rate and am finding that I am still upset.


I have just sent my bestest friend in the whole wide world an e-mail in hopes that she can give me a good swift kick in the pants to help me out of this funk. I think I need to lean on someone for some help though this one…