Good
morning!!!
WOW has this last few days been nuts! Little man, Myself and Dad were all in
bed sick all weekend. L It was not fun. We are all on the mend now but getting
through those few days was awful!
O.K so, Today at 9:00 in the morning a full year ago I was on my way to the
hospital to have our little man. I am going to document everything that
happened here so that later on in life if Nik wants to read about his birthday
he can.
:-)
I had been having strong contractions and then they really started to get
consistent. I called my work and told them not to expect me to be online on
Monday morning cus we were going to have our baby. Then we picked up the house
a little bit and were off to San Francisco to Kaiser. We got to Kaiser at around 10:30 and then put
me in a little waiting room then they check me to see how far along I was. They
said I had to make it to 4 CM before they would admit me so we were to go
walking. And walking is what we did. WOW the streets of SF are so steep. We
walked up and down up and down. Then we got hungry so we ate at the Trolley car
burger shop. MMM a burger and onion
rings. :-)
So around 2:00 we were admitted into the hospital and they hooked me up to all
the monitors to make sure little man was doing fine, and of course he was wonderful.
Now! onto the next day. We had a pretty rough night as I still had not giving
in to the fact that epidurals are God!!! So we were still not progressing very
well and the contractions were starting to wear on the both of us. It’s 6:38 a.m.
in the morning right now and I can remember watching the Channel 2 news and
seeing that it was going to be a nice day outside. Thinking WOW what a great
day to have a baby! NOT!!!! Nice try there was no way our little man was coming
out. I was dilated to 5 cm and that’s where I stayed. We walked up and down the
halls at Kaiser like no tomorrow. I wore out a pair of shoes I am sure of it!!! :-) We took shower upon shower thinking that it was going to help things but to
no avail. Our Nik was never going to come out!
O.K one more night to go. At this point both Mike and I were so tired! Two
nights no sleep and don’t forget you are not allowed to eat when in labor (this
policy is even worse then labor I think) It was around 1:00 a.m and I was done.
I no longer wanted to be in the hospital, I didn’t want to be in pain and I
wanted people to leave me alone. So that’s when I lost it. I cried from then on
till morning. Poor Mike, He was so
supportive and wonderful. I could not have asked for a better husband. He would
massage my back, then hug me so I could cry, then I would yell and him for
nodding off again (hello, why can you sleep and not me, WAKE UP!!!) Finally 6:00 rolls around and the shift change
happens. I get the Doctor that I really like and she starts to attempt to talk
sense into me. God Bless the Doctors and Nurses at Kaiser. I tell you they had
no idea what they were getting into when I walked in. They spent 3 hrs talking
to me about the epidural and trying to get me to do something because we were
just not getting anywhere from this point. Finally, after much convincing I gave in. But
not without a fight. The nurse that was told to put the IV into my hand was a
nervous wreck. I had upset her so badly because I was crying hysterically at
this point that her hands were shaking so much she was unable to put the IV in.
So they had to call yet another nurse to put this into my hand. They got the IV
in and I got to the one moment I was afraid of more then labor itself! THE
EPIDURAL! I had heard horror stories about what could happen if they missed and
it not working or them having to place it again. UGH so once again I was
hysterical. The epidural Doctor that
came in was this came cool and collected women. She had a tie dye bandanna on
her head and her hospital scrubs on. She walked in with such a commanding
presents and here I was a ball of sobbing Jello on the bed demanding to leave
and tell everyone not to touch me. Once
her and I made eye contact she could see the fear in my eyes. She smiled at me
and said that I had nothing to fear as she had something that was going to fix
me up. I looked at her with terror in my eyes and told her I was going home and
there was no need for her to do anything. She giggled at me and asked my
husband if she could give me a little shot of something to calm me down before
she started the procedure. Mike at this
point was at his wits end with me I am sure! but he kept his calm and after
coxing me out of the bathroom ( where I had walled my self up in the shower and
absolutely refused to get out unless I was being given my clothing and a taxi
cab ride home) As I got out of the
shower and I went back on sat on the bed, Again mind you hysterical! This
wonderful lady gave me the smallest little shot in the arm! then as if the
Earth was aligning with Venus I calmed down. I smiled and I even giggled. I
could not feel my body and it was wonderful. All I could see was people walking
around me. A little slower then I might have imagined but they were smiling and
asking me how I felt. Well, I tell you what ever it was in that needle that she
gave to me it was the best stuff in the world. :-)
I then spent the next 10 min bent over a pillow dosing off. Something I hadn’t
done in a few days. The next thing I remember is laying down on the bed and
thanking the nice doctor who was wonderful and gave me the epidural. That at
that very moment was making my legs and lower body warm and comfy. I was such a
happy person now. The doctors advised us that it was time for both to take a
nap as we had a big job still left to do.
Mike and I both took the advice of the Doctors and dosed off. And before you
know it, it is 7:30 at night and we are at 9 cm!
We made all of the calls to the Grandparents. Telling everyone to get in the
car and get over here we were soon to have out baby!! The grandparents trickled
in one by one. We now had everyone assembled at the hospital now all we needed
was our newest member of the family to arrive to meet everyone.
We started the pushing process and it seemed to be going O.K it was hard to do
but we were going get through it. We were so close. After a few pushed Mike asked the Doctor what
something was and the Doctor kind of chuckled. She said,, That’s your sons
head! Mike looked up at me with the
most proud and wonderful look I have ever seen out of him. I just smiled. At this point I was napping in
between contractions. I am not sure where I got the strength to do this but you
find it when you need it. We pushed for
what seemed like forever. We were going on 2 hrs. It was around 11:00 p.m. The doctor said that she thought that Nik was
stuck under my pelvic bone and that things were not looking to good. She
suggested that we push for another 20 min and the if we had not gotten anywhere
we needed to talk about other options.
So we pushed another 5 min and that’s when it happened! All hell broke loose.
Little mans heart rate drop to zero and mine spiked way above where it needed
to be. Before I knew it. The Doctor was
cutting cords and tubes and wires down. She told a nurse to take Mike in the
other room and get him, ready ready for what I asked??? At this time they were all to busy to talk to
me about what was going on. I was once again crying as I had no idea what was
going on or if I and my baby were going to be O.K. The nurse that was at the
head of my bed was pushing me out of the room and putting a operating room cap
on my head. I asked he to tell me what was going on and she finally said the
babies heart rate had dropped off of the monitor to zero twice and we are
loosing him.
I then lost all hope for anything. I gave up! I just knew that I was not going
home with my little angle that was inside of me! it was unreal. Things started
to move in slow motion for me but the people around me were moving very fast. We got into the operating room and the Doctors
were unable to get this special bed to work. So, instead of stirrups I had two
Doctors holding my legs up in the air. Then I had the main Doctor who was going
to deliver Nik at the end of the bed. She looked at me as the chaos was
getting worse. There were about 35 people in the room, special teams where
alerted to attend to both me and Nik after this was over. And said, We have one
have one chance to save you little guy, you have to push as hard as you can and
we are going to suction him out, are you ready?? I looked at her with the
most determined look I could and mustered every single energy in my soul and
pushed. I pushed and pushed and I was starting to black out from holding my
breath then I see her jerk backward and blood everywhere. I passed out! The next thing I remember is seeing Mike over
in the corner and I can’t see anything. I was screaming but no one was listing
to me. I finally yelled, SOMEONE TELL ME
HOW MY BABY IS??? And this wonderful very fluffy loving nurse walks over to me,
pushed the hair, out of my face and turns my head says, honey! you little boy
is just perfect. I look over and all I
see is this little cone head shaped baby sitting up and looking around. Not
crying or fusing just taking it all in. I smiled with a large sign of relief and then
of course cried like a baby not because I was hurting but because I was so relieved
that he was fine. They cleaned my little
man up and then wrapped him tight in a blanket after the Doctors had determined
that he was a healthy as he could be and that they reason his heart had stopped
so many times was because of the long labor and the extended stay with his
organs compressed in the birth canal. Mike brought him over to me and I was so happy
to meet my little man, He was just perfect in every way. When Mike brought him
to see me, he opened up his eyes and looked right at me. I gave him a very big
kiss and have been deeply in love with him ever since.
The reset of the night was a blur for me. I lost a lot of blood. I don’t remember
much until the next day. But, I slept soundly knowing I had my little man with
me!
The birth experience is something that you just can’t compare anything to. You
walk in somewhere thinking you are prepared for what’s in store for you.
Emotionally, mentally and physically. But, as we learn this is not the case.
You are put to the test and when you walk out of that hospital, you’re a changed
woman.
I love you Nik. I pray for a happy long healthy life full of all the joys that
you have blessed your father and I with over this past year and the rest of the
years to follow. I pray only for you to grow up to know that you are the most
loved, appreciated and cared about person in our lives. You will do and be
wonderful things in your lifetime and if nothing else you will always be the
sparkle in our eyes.
We love you little man!!
Happy 1st birthday.
Luv Ma
